TenchiMania!
by William 'Thundergod' Nichols
Summary: What happens when Ayeka and Ryoko's fighting pushes Washu just a little too far? The fight of the century ensues!


Tenchi Muyo! and all characters herein are the property of Pioneer and AIC, save those created by the author. This is a fanfic, is not for profit, and expresses nobodies views save for the author and his demented friends.  
  
TENCHIMANIA!  
  
WARNING: this just might be the silliest fanfic ever about Tenchi Muyo. You have been warned. Have a nice day!  
  
  
  
It was starting out to be an atypical day in the Masaki household. For Tenchi it all began with the shock of Ryoko jumping into his bed to wake him. From there it deteriorated into Ayeka storming into his room to pull Ryoko off him, when in fact he really didn't her being on top of him. Next came Ayeka and Ryoko trading insults, and so on and so forth. Luckily Tenchi managed to slip out his bedroom and make a mad dash for the bathroom.  
  
"Another lovely morning," he said aloud as he heard crashing sounds coming from his room. "Those two will never grow up." Tenchi finished his morning ritual of the "three s'" and proceeded on to breakfast. As he descended the stairs he saw that Ryoko and Ayeka had made it down as well. The thought of what had been done to his room in his absence made him shudder.  
  
"Tenchi, Tenchi!" called Ryoko waving for him to sit down next to her. Ayeka just snorted and turned her back mumbling.  
  
"What did you princess?" inquired an irate Ryoko. "What did you say about me?"  
  
"All that I said was why would Lord Tenchi want to be seated next to a foul, filthy, undignified trollop like you." Ayeka narrowed her eyes in on Ryoko, daring her to make a spectacle. Ryoko just bit her tongue and fumed at the uptight princess. "I just dare you demon," toyed Ayeka, sensing Ryoko's intent.  
  
"If I did," started Ryoko, "then I could have Tenchi all to my self, since you would be vaporized." She shot Ayeka an equally menacing look. Tenchi had stopped in his tracks at the foot of the stairs. He sweated as the two superpowers duked it out.  
  
"Twice in one day," he mumbled. "Lucky me."  
  
"Take this!" screamed Ryoko. She swung her fist around and connected squarely on Ayeka's jaw. The purple haired Princess flew across the table and landed on Mihoshi.  
  
"Ouch," squeaked the blonde GP as Ayeka pulled herself together. Ryoko was doubled over laughing as Ayeka picked herself up.  
  
"Ladies, please," begged Tenchi. Lightening flashed outside as Ayeka summoned her guardians.  
  
"Of course you know," she panted, "this means WAR!"  
  
"Bring it on, Princess Prissy Pants!"  
  
"Ladies!"  
  
"Ouch!"  
  
Ayeka and Ryoko lunged at each other. They met mid-air and grappled above the table. Ryoko won out first and sent Ayeka sliding across the table. Next Ayeka landed a cheap shot and Ryoko went sailing into Mihoshi again.  
  
"Ow-wee," she whimpered. Ryoko growled pulled herself off Mihoshi and starred down Ayeka. She was fuming. Ayeka cackled as Ryoko shot her the bird.  
  
"*&^%$!" mumbled Ryoko.  
  
"What did you say?" asked Ayeka in hysterics.  
  
"You heard me," she growled. "I called you a '*&^%$'!" Ryoko stopped and thought about what she just said. "What the %$#@ is going on here?" she asked. All Ayeka could do was laugh. She was laughing so hard that she was doubled over. Mihoshi just rubbed her head and Washu slurped her soup. Tenchi was still at the bottom of the stairs, trying to figure out what going on.  
  
"Did Ryoko say '*&^%$' and '%$#@'?" His eye began to twitch as he scratched the back of his head. "I should have just stayed in bed."  
  
"Listen Princess," said a confused and miffed Ryoko, "You're going down!" With that she jumped towards Ayeka again. The two locked up and grappled above the table. This time they slipped on some spilled soup and slid into Washu, spilling her soup all over the diminutive scientist.  
  
"That does it!" fumed Washu slamming her fists into the table. "If you two want to fight fine by me. But when you ruin my breakfast, then there's going to be heck to pay!"  
  
"Miss Washu?" inquired Tenchi. There was no telling what the mad genius would do.  
  
"If they want to fight," she began typing away at her holographic keypad, "I'm going to let them!" The room began to swirl away and was replaced by darkness.  
  
"Uh-oh," whimpered Tenchi, Ayeka, and Ryoko in unison.  
  
"Where'd every body go?" asked Sasami, poking her head out from the kitchen. All that was left was the ruins of the dining table and this mornings breakfast.  
  
  
  
"Where are we?" asked Tenchi.  
  
"Good question," seconded Ayeka.  
  
"Beats me," continued Ryoko.  
  
"Ouch," whined Mihoshi.  
  
"This isn't the shrine," added Katsuhito.  
  
"Or my office," chimed Nobeyugi.  
  
"I know where you are," laughed Washu.  
  
"Then where!" they demanded in unison as the lights came up. To everyone's amazement they found themselves in a crowded sports arena. There was a large video screen at the end of the arena and a ramp leading to a wrestling ring. Tenchi found himself in the ring wearing a black and white striped shirt and black slacks. Nobeyugi and Katsuhito were seated at a booth with microphones in front of them and Mihoshi was dressed in a bunny outfit sitting by the ring bell.  
  
"Little Washu," asked a confused Tenchi, "what's going on here?"  
  
"Just a friendly sports entertainment event," she grinned. Washu was wearing a tuxedo and holding a cordless mike. "Ladies and gentlemen," she began, "welcome to Tenchimania!"  
  
"Tenchimania," mused Katsuhito.  
  
"Sounds like fun," chimed in Nobeyugi, admiring Mihoshi's bunny get up.  
  
"This shall prove most interesting," chuckled Katsuhito.  
  
The thunderous strains of 'God of Thunder' began to blare from the arena's sound system. "Introducing first from Parts Unknown, the Demon Summoner, Ryoko!" announced Washu. The crowd gave a big pop as Ryoko emerged from under the video screen. She was dressed in black leather with seven-inch dragon headed boots. Her face was painted kabuki style and her hair was pulled up into a topknot. She made her way to the ring and climbed one of the turnbuckles. Once on top she produced a flaming sword and breathed fire.  
  
  
  
"Most impressive," commented Katsuhito.  
  
"What does that remind me of," pondered Nobeyugi.  
  
"Washu," said Tenchi timidly as Ryoko thrust the sword into the ring floor. Ryoko's entrance theme died down and the pyrotechnics exploded on top of the stage. As it died down 'Born to be Wild' began to boom across the arena.  
  
"From the mean streets of Jurai, Ayeka, Queen of Destruction!" Ayeka came out from the curtains dressed in a red cat suit with black spider webs and knee high red vinyl boots. She entered the ring and bowed to the crowd amid a sea of flash bulbs.  
  
"Very nice," said Nobeyugi, as his glasses fogged up. Katsuhito nodded in agreement.  
  
"Miss Washu," begged Tenchi, "what's going on here?"  
  
"It's simple," replied Washu. "They want to fight, so were going to have ourselves a wrasslin' match," she said in a faked southern drawl.  
  
"Oh my," beamed Nobeyugi, "this should be the match of the century!"  
  
"Indeed," added Katsuhito.  
  
"Miss Washu are you serious about this," asked Ayeka looking at her attire.  
  
"Sounds like fun to me," said Ryoko. She hugged Tenchi from behind and began to draw circles on his chest with her index finger. "You'll be a fair referee, want you Tenchi dear?"  
  
"Get your hand off of him you *&^%$!" Ayeka slapped a hand to her mouth. "Not me too," she whimpered.  
  
"The rules are simple," began Washu. "All of your powers have been suppressed so it should be an even fight. First the winner gets Tenchi. Second the only way to win is by pin-fall or submission. There are no disqualifications and falls count anywhere! Hit it Mihoshi!" Mihoshi rang he ring bell and Washu hopped out of the ring. Tenchi said a quick prayer to whichever god may be listening and the match began.  
  
(From here on out the story takes the play-by-play view point of Katsuhito and Nobeyugi: K and N. Hey, we all have to be different, right?)  
  
K: Here we go! Ayeka bounds off the ropes and delivers a crushing clothes line to Ryoko!  
  
N: The Demon Summoner is down and Oh My! Ayeka lands a big elbow drop! The ref is giving a ten count but it's too early for that.  
  
K: Indeed. Ryoko is up to her feet and she grabs Ayeka into front wristlock. She follows through and delivers a snap suplex. Ayeka looks stunned as Ryoko gives her the big boot!  
  
N: Gee Dad, I never knew you were a wrestling fan.  
  
K: Remember the Masked Brawler from forty years ago?  
  
N: Yep.  
  
K: That was I. Back to the action fans: Ayeka is up and giving Ryoko a series of big chops. Ooh, here that noise son?  
  
N: Yeah dad. That makes me hurt just thinking about it. Look out! Here comes the rolling German suplex from the Demon Summoner! The Queen of Destruction is in trouble!  
  
K: She's bridging the third one for a pin! One, Two, almost three. Ayeka barley managed to get out of that one. She looks stunned. Here comes the pile driver from Ryoko!  
  
N: No wait! Ayeka reverses and Ryoko land s flat on her back. That was a close one. The Demon Summoner can't afford to make many mistakes like that against the Queen of Destruction.  
  
K: Ryoko is back up and off the ropes. She ducks Ayeka's clothesline and rebounds off the far side. What a drop kick! Ayeka is staggering. Ryoko can taste the blood, my god; it's a power bomb!  
  
N: I can't watch!  
  
K: No Ayeka reverses it with a huricarauna! Ryoko is down, big splash from Ayeka.  
  
N: Holy #$@%!  
  
K: What is it with this? Hold up Little Washu id joining us as guess commentator.  
  
W: Glad to be here guys. This is a heck of a match. Since you were wondering about the '*&^%$' and '#$@%', I've decided to drop by. Ooh, nice DDT from the Demon Summoner. Since this is trying to be the 'silliest Tenchi fanfic ever,' I just instituted Lil' Washu's Anti-Potty Mouth Safe Guard v1.2.3.4, eighth edition, Windows XP compatible. That's all.  
  
N: Thanks Lil' Washu.  
  
W: Any time.  
  
K: Now that is cleared up lets return to this slobber knocker.  
  
N: Is that like a Donnybrook and a Hoot 'n' Nanny?  
  
K: Don't push it. Ayeka is on the top rope and she goes for a cross body block!  
  
N: But Ryoko catches her mid air! What's this? A running power slam! What a move! The Demon Summoner goes for the pin, Ayeka kicks out!  
  
N: The Q.O. D sends Ryoko into the ropes and hits the tilt-a-whirl back breaker! It looks like she is going for the submission. Leg grapevine into the, it's the Sharpshooter!  
  
K: No! It's the Scorpion Death Lock!  
  
N: What ever. Ryoko looks like she's in real pain. The ref in down asking her if she gives. I take that finger mean no.  
  
K: Emphatically. Ryoko is crawling towards the ropes but Ayeka is pouring on the pressure. Can she make it?  
  
N: She does. Come on! Break the hold *@%$ it!  
  
K: Potty mouth.  
  
N: Sorry. Ayeka breaks the hold and the ref is admonishing her. Wait I do not believe this! Ayeka is trying to seduce the ref!  
  
K: I would expect this from the Demon Summoner, but not the Queen of Destruction. Ryoko is up and seems to be taking exception to Ayeka's actions.  
  
N: Ouch! That was a closed fist. Ayeka is down and the Demon Summoner is, well it looks like she's seducing the ref. And he's enjoying it!  
  
K: Impartial indeed. The ref is not supposed to suck the face off of one of the combatants. Ayeka is back up and, oh my. She's really *%$$ed at the ref and her opponent.  
  
N: Ahem.  
  
K: Okay. Now she's chasing the ref and Ryoko. My they sure run fast.  
  
N: Go Tenchi!  
  
K: The ref ducks just as the Demon Summoner spills out of the ring. Ayeka follows, and rams Ryoko's head into the ring post.  
  
N: That'll leave a mark. Ryoko pushes Mihoshi aside and grabs the ring bell.  
  
CLANG!!!  
  
N: Ouch! That looked painful.  
  
K: she could've split Ayeka's skull! That's uncalled for.  
  
N: Ayeka's got a steel chair! What a hit! Hold on! Ryoko gives Ayeka a big foot and she's on top of us!  
  
K: Move over son! Ayeka is on the announce table. She's wearing the crimson mask from the wound opened up by Ryoko's bell shot. The Demon Summoner is bleeding as well from when she hit the ring post. What's she up too?  
  
N: The Demon Summoner is climbing high and calling for the Leap of Death. She jumps, and connects.  
  
K: Ryoko and Ayeka may be both broken in half! Our announce booth is destroyed and we just barely escaped with our lives. The ref is checking on them both. Ryoko is back to her feet and pulls Ayeka up as well. The princess looks like she just went eighteen rounds with a pit bull. Ryoko rolls up Ayeka, almost three.  
  
N: Whew that was close. Ryoko nearly wrapped this one up. Both ladies are staggering back to their feet. They've lost a lot of blood, and this commentator just doesn't know how much longer they can go on like this.  
  
K: I agree. Ryoko gives Ayeka an Irish whip and she heads for the opposite ropes. Oh No!  
  
N: They caught each other's big lariat!  
  
K: There both out cold and the ref is giving a ten count. One, two, three, four, five, Ryoko is up, no she's not. Seven, eight, nine, ten!  
  
N: He's signaling for the bell and gets it but who won?  
  
K: Let's listen to Washu to see who has been declared the winner.  
  
W: Since both contestants knocked themselves out, I declare myself the winner! I get Tenchi!  
  
T: Why me Lord?  
  
K: I never saw that coming.  
  
N: Neither did I. But this is trying to be 'the silliest Tenchi fanfic ever."  
  
K: That's all for Tenchimania folks. For Nobeyugi Masaki I'm Katsuhito Masaki, wishing you a good night.  
  
N: See you all next year!  
  
THE END  
  
End Notes: I know, I know. I should be committed after this one. But as senior year winds down at Auburn (and our pitiful loss to Alabama) a silly fanfic was in store. This pays tribute to my fond child hood memories watching WCW Wrestling and the WWF years ago. Also there was a touch of Kiss in Ryoko's theme and attire (They made a guest appearance in part one of my We Are One series-check it out at tmffa.com). Now that this is out of my system maybe I can write a meaningful, heart felt fanfic. Nah. Later.  
  
William R. Nichols Jr. 11/24/01 


End file.
